Sunday, May 8, 2016

I do or I dont?

As we come into wedding season,it has made me stop and think about the evolution of "The Wedding". I hear phrases like bridal shower. In my day you met someone, you got engaged, you set a date, you mailed with a stamp an invitation and people came to the wedding or maybe they didn't, and maybe they brought a gift or maybe they didn't and no-one was keeping score in that regard. The bride family usually paid for everything or sometimes even just the couple themselves depending on circumstances. This day the wedding day has always been held in such high esteem and everyone has huge expectations of the dress and the cake and the food and the music. A dress is a dress is a dress..isn't it? What good is a dress that you spend so much money on and can only wear for one day? no I take that back not even a day sometimes a few hours! In some cultures the extravagance of the dress showed everyone how rich the family were..who cares? Buying an expensive dress for what? the photos? is it worth it? and then bridesmaids when did it change from the brides family paying for everything to the bridesmaids buying their own? and not even their choice but the brides choice, so it may not be flattering or a color you like or it might be several hundred dollars but if you want to be in the wedding party you have to buy it and if you don't then you and the bride aren't friends anymore? You don't get to be in the wedding just because you cant afford the dress she wants? Its not just the dress though is it, Its the shoes a well. and it doesn't stop there what about flowers? and then a gift for the bridal shower and then money for the bachelorlette party wherever that might be ..Vegas? somewhere equally expensive which the bridesmaid has to pay for. and then in some instances guests have to pay for their meal and the reception WTF? oh and don't forget the ultimate gift for the actual wedding as well. So its beginning to look way more expensive for the bridesmaids than the bride. When did this evolution happen? when did it get to be like this? A bridal shower whats that about? is it a way for the couple to get extra gifts? According to some sources not only do you have to buy a gift whether you go or not. Your gift also gets exposed and I guess put up for ridicule if its not expensive/good enough. The poor person who buys something small because she works part time and has 3 children. The person who considers the bride to be a special friend but cant afford to buy the dress and the shoes, go to Vegas, buy a bridal shower gift, buy an actual wedding gift, she obviously wasn't that special if the bride cuts her out the wedding. What a crock of shit! Id rather have a dress I could wear again, a wedding where everyone could eat whatever they wanted without paying, a potluck even, Bring a gift , don't bring a gift, just come be here on my day. Who writes the etiquette for these occasions and why did they become a thing. Seems to me its all about the greed, its all about who can spend the most money, who can have the fanciest dress. I understand that girls want to be princesses on their special day. but is it really worth spending all that money, going into debt or your family going into debt for one days activities, its a very scary thought to me. Plus now the bride and groom now almost tell you what they want, which color they want it in and what store to get it at. Or they jut ask for money.Where did the thought go? Now we apparently cant even give a gift that we think they might like. Ok so I guess it cuts down on getting 12 toasters but isn't it the thought the counts? Apparently not. Weddings are not about friendship, family, happiness, they're about money pure and simple. Although I do acknowledge that this does not apply to everyone. That to some it is about friendship and family. I also acknowledge that weddings are an expensive business but don't have to be, because really aren't you getting married to show you each other you want to spend the rest of your life together. And really, how much does that really cost? Surely the most important part is the rest of your life together, not a few hours that cost you into the thousands.

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