Sunday, July 24, 2016

Do you want fries with that?

Its not that I don't care, but peoples habits while fascinating are not what I base a relationship on. Well unless you pick your nose all the time then we cant ever be friends because that's just gross. I read so many meme's on Facebook about so many different things and I wonder how many of these meme's really say what we are afraid to say out loud. Why is it easier to post a meme than to say what we really feel. Why is it easier to make a joke out of something we suffer with or find hard to handle than it is to admit it. I think its because we are afraid of being judged.

Do you judge? I think we are all guilty of judging people based on a visual only, but do you know the struggle that person is having inside?

If you said what you were thinking to them face to face would they be upset?

If you laughed at them behind their back, could you do it to their face?

Why do people have this preconception of a person that they don't even know. I saw some people on my Facebook making fun of a picture of a larger lady. It was this incident that sparked off the thought process for this blog. I didn't think it was funny and I began to wonder why they did.

Men and women come in all shapes and sizes and just because one size doesn't appeal to you doesn't mean that its disgusting. It just means they don't appeal to you.

Many people associate those who are of the larger variety to mean they overeat, then the meme's come to my mind about food being on our minds all the time. But are they big because they overeat or is there a different reason? And so therefore who are you to judge when you don't know them or their lives.

I mean how would those guys on Facebook feel if the role was reversed?

Do men even possess the compassionate gene? are they capable of being empathetic? or are they shallow creatures they don't feel emotion like women do? Or is it that they are brought up to believe that showing emotions is a girl thing and so they don't show it.

Having said all that I know for a fact that its not just men but women as well who judge others by their size. We see it all the time on social media , its bullying pure and simple and nothing else.

But stop and think for a moment before you judge. What if it was you.

I have mentioned before that I have an eating disorder, I cant help it , I work on it day after day after day. But its always there and I cant control it. It has affected my weight and my self confidence my whole life.
To be honest this is how it is. I eat my meal and my mind doesn't tell me im full so I feel like I need to keep eating. Occasionally I will say Im stuffed but not long after I feel hungry again. I don't know why its like that.

I have tried diet after diet after diet and nothing works. My doctor suggested I have bariatric
surgery. But when you have mental health issues they are very reluctant to perform this. My anxiety along with other issues is not completely under control yet and so this surgery is out of the question.

Apparently you cant be sane and thin at the same time.

The only way I have ever been able to lose weight is to practically starve myself. because if I don't start to eat then I have nothing to stop because im not eating. But then you get the its not fair and why cant I ? all these feelings and then the anxiety.

Ugh its a vicious cycle of not caring, and then wanting to be thin and then not caring what people think but wanting to be healthy and then secretly worrying about what others think of you and what they are thinking every time you eat that cookie, or that piece of pie or that cupcake or that donut, or that extra serving of lasagna , that second plate at a buffet. Then the feelings of guilt because you cant control it and you cant look like everyone else because this disorder is controlling you.

You see why I have anxiety. And how dare some judge me for the way I have to live my life because of this.

But they do, and if they don't judge you they are judging someone else for their life choices or maybe for things they cant control.

It doesn't matter what you do , someone somewhere is going to judge you, whether you drink wine every night, or eat cupcakes over the sink, have tattoos, have piercings, are black or white, are gay, choose not to have children, are a stay at home mom, are a mom who works, are a single mom.

So basically everyone is screwed because someone somewhere isn't going to like your choices, and you know what, often its not a choice, it just is the way it is.

We all have our battles and wars we are fighting in our lives. Sometimes we spend so much time fighting the demons and being afraid of the people who will judge us , we forget to live!

Someone somewhere will read this and know that they are not alone, that there is someone out that who is going through similar things and will feel comforted.

Just because you are struggling with something doesn't make you a freak and something to be mocked.

It's what makes you human.

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